Kamis, 03 November 2011
Jessica Biel Reveals the Role That Got Away
Can you imagine Jessica Biel in the retro, ladylike garb of the '40s? It could've happened. After more than 15 years in the business, Jessica, 29, reveals to Elle that there's one role she particularly regrets losing out on: "The Notebook."
"That's one that I wanted so badly," the actress tells the magazine. "I was in the middle of shooting 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre,' and I auditioned with Ryan Gosling in my trailer -- covered in blood. [Director] Nick Cassavetes put me through the wringer in an interesting, excitingly creative way. But there's a million that get away."
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Still, the "Valentine's Day" star admits that there are times when she dreams of doing something else with her time. She even has a back-up career choice. "I'd love to write," the brunette beauty says. "I wrote a lot of short stories and poetry when I was a kid. That was my creative outlet. I've written a short film, and I [still] write poetry."
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Some of those days probably come when the media is asking questions about her personal life. Jessica, who rarely speaks about her on-again, off-again relationship of nearly five years with Justin Timberlake, is quiet about the romance. She does, however, explain that it's no surprise she's coupled up with another actor. "I think those are the people you meet and so it just kind of happens," she says. "Let me tell you: It never happens on purpose."
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One day, after Jessica's found Mr. Right, she notes that settling down and having a family are not out of the question. "Yeah, I think probably at some point [having kids] would be something I'm interested in," she says. "But I don't feel pressured. I was never one of those girls who dreamt of my wedding and my Prince Charming."
For now, Jessica is trying to enjoy her role in Hollywood -- which shouldn't be too difficult! The former "A-Team" actress has five movies listed in "post-production" on IMDb, including a remake of the sci-fi film "Total Recall," with Colin Farrell. "The other day, Colin and I were in our harnesses, hoisted up 30 feet in the air looking down ... the adrenaline rush of that was explosive. We hit the bottom, looked at each other, and burst into giggles. That was an I-love-my-job moment."
Read Jessica's full interview in the December issue of Elle.
By Raechal Leone Shewfelt | A-Line: Celebrity Style – 16 hours ago
Why I Cheated on My Husband
The first question that comes to mind when a spouse cheats is: Why? A recent study by the University of Guelph in Ontario, Canada, attempted to answer that question and found that the reasons behind infidelity differ greatly between the sexes. For men, it’s typically about the sex—the more sexually excitable they are, the more likely they are to cheat. For women, it’s more about the level of satisfaction in her relationship; if a woman is unhappy in her marriage, she’s 2.6 times more likely to cheat. Regardless of the reason, there’s one thing that’s certain: infidelity is devastating. But there can be a silver lining. “In many cases, it forces issues to the surface of a relationship that would have never otherwise been dealt with,” says Kevin Hansen, author of Secret Regrets: What if You Had a Second Chance? Read on to discover what life lessons these five women gained through their personal experiences with infidelity—and what you can learn from their stories.
Discover 11 signs that he might be having an affair.
“My husband was abusive.”
“From the day I married my husband, I knew it was a mistake,” says 50-year-old Elizabeth Smith.* “He was abusive, controlling and expected me to quit my job to make a home for him.” A little over a year into the marriage, she began having an affair with a man that she worked with. “I had no illusions that I was in love, but it was eye-opening to be with someone that made me feel good about myself, made me laugh and respected me for who I was—not who he wanted me to be,” she says. “The affair helped me find myself and proved to me that I could live a life independent of my husband. It also gave me the courage to ask for a divorce. Twenty-five years later, I’m married to a wonderful man. We love making each other happy, and never try to change who the other person is,” she says. What You Can Learn: While the confidence gained from the affair may have given her the spark she needed to get out of a bad relationship, New York City psychologist Michael E. Silverman, PhD, says if you’re in an abusive relationship, deception isn’t the best way to deal with it. Get help first from a trusted friend, family member, therapist or one of the numerous nationwide resources instead.
“We began to resent each other.”
When Vanessa Myers*, 28, married her husband six years ago, they both couldn’t wait to have children, but after their wedding day something changed for her. “I started to really love my job, and kids didn’t seem to fit into the picture,” she says. Her husband was hurt by her change of heart, and began to resent her. “We started fighting a lot, and I resented him for resenting me and we were just constantly hurting each other,” she says. “One night I caught him trying to slip off the condom and that was pretty much the end of our sex life.” Ultimately, the lack of intimacy caused Vanessa to cheat. “I met a guy online and we dated for about a year,” she says. “It ended when my husband caught me.” Vanessa and her husband agreed to seek therapy separately and together, and were able to save their marriage. “The biggest lesson I learned was that if I was unhappy in my marriage, my husband was only 50% to blame. [Having] an affair gave me the courage to ask for what I wanted in my marriage,” she says. What You Can Learn: While what her husband did may be shocking, the fact that there was unaddressed anger in the relationship created fertile ground for an affair, says Dr. Silverman. “Coupled with the lack of sexual intimacy there was nothing left to hang a relationship on,” he says Even though the affair helped Vanessa learn some valuable lessons and the relationship was ultimately saved, Dr. Silverman stresses the importance of open and honest communication in a relationship as a way for a couple to stay connected—before one of the spouses seeks comfort or intimacy outside of the marriage.
“I was bored and unhappy.”
At 35-years-old, Barbara Gisborne was living the American dream. She lived in Madison, Wisconsin, with her loving husband and two children—but she was miserable. “My husband was a good man, but I was bored inside and out,” she says. “In our community, I always felt like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole.” That year, she was in Chicago on business and met Bob, an Australian man, on an elevator. “We had an instant connection. We exchanged numbers, kept in touch, and I decided to fly out to Australia to see him and get him out of my system,” she says. “Instead, I fell in love.” She left everything she knew—her hometown, her husband, her job and her country—to start her life over with Bob in Australia. “I became strong, independent, confident and much worldlier,” she says. “That was 25 years ago and now I can say that my affair was the turning point in my life’s journey. Today, Bob and I are married, own a winery in Australia, and have five children and 10 grandchildren between us.” What You Can Learn: Though Barbara's story ended up with a "happily ever after," that's not always the case when it comes to infidelity, which is why Dr. Silverman suggests looking inside yourself if you're unhappy or bored with your relationship. “Healthy relationships grow and evolve, and feeling bored is a symptom of relationship stagnation. Rather than having an affair, increase the romance, change habitual patterns within the relationship and communicate more about your feelings and needs.” If you just need a change of pace, try booking an exotic vacation with your husband or girlfriends, or discuss moving to a new city and starting over.
“My husband was a workaholic.”
For 10 years, 49-year-old Barbara Singer created a life independent of her husband because he was never around. “Gary was totally consumed and exhausted by his work—there was nothing left for me,” she says. “I was totally committed to my family and gave it my all, but knew in my heart that I certainly did not want this for rest of my life.” One night, she met up with Tom, an acquaintance, and ended up staying out all night with him. Within a few weeks of meeting him, she ended her marriage, and two years later, she and Tom were married. But within a month, he died of a heart attack. “Meeting Tom was the best and worst thing that ever happened to me. He came into my life and woke me up, showing me…that life is precious and that at any given moment, it can all be taken away, so if I have a dream or a goal, I better get moving on it,” she says. What You Can Learn: “Barbara felt alone for many years, and feeling disconnected from your partner is the genesis of most of the affairs I see in my practice,” says Dr. Silverman. The remedy? Speak up and begin a dialogue with your partner. Engaging in open, honest communication about your needs with your husband is the key to help a stalled marriage.
To find out more about Barbara’s story, go to LivingWithoutReservations.com.
“He was unfaithful first.”
Larie Norvell had only been married about a year when she found out that her husband had cheated on her. “I was very angry, but I was also very hurt, because I felt like I wasn’t enough for him—like there was something I wasn’t doing for him as his wife, which is why he felt the need to go outside of our marriage,” says the 33-year-old. That jumble of mixed emotions was the impetus for her affair. “I cheated on him—mostly for revenge, but in retrospect it was also because I wanted validation. I wanted to know that I was still desirable to other men,” she says. Once her affair was discovered, the couple separated for a few months—but then began to seek counseling and were able to salvage their marriage. What You Can Learn: Retribution is a common feeling when someone has been betrayed, says Dr. Silverman. “Anger can be quite powerful in clouding one’s judgment,” he says, which is why he urges any couple dealing with infidelity to seek counseling. Fortunately for Larie, her relationship endured the double deception. “The biggest lesson we’ve learned through all the struggles in 14 ½ years is that we are enough for each other,” she says.
*Names have been changed to protect identity.
Menyusui Turunkan Risiko Tekanan Darah Tinggi
Satu lagi hasil penelitian tentang manfaat menyusui dirilis. Berdasarkan penelitian yang dimuat di American Journal of Epidemiology edisi ternayar, para ibu yang menyusui dalam kurun waktu yang disarankan (6 - 12 bulan) memiliki risiko lebih rendah terkena tekanan darah tinggi di kemudian hari.
Penelitian, bagaimanapun, tidak menyimpulkan bahwa menyusui adalah alasan untuk menciptakan tekanan darah yang sehat. Tapi mereka menambah bukti bahwa menyusui mungkin memiliki manfaat tidak hanya bagi bayi, tapi untuk ibu juga.
Secara umum, para ahli merekomendasikan bahwa bayi diberikan ASI eksklusif selama enam bulan pertama mereka, kemudian terus mendapatkan ASI bersama dengan makanan padat sampai mereka berusia satu tahun.
Menyusui bermanfaat melindungi bayi terhadap penyakit-penyakit umum tertentu, seperti diare dan infeksi telinga bagian tengah. Tapi ada juga beberapa bukti bahwa menyusui dapat menurunkan risiko ibu dari beberapa masalah kesehatan.
Studi telah menemukan bahwa wanita yang menyusui memiliki risiko rendah terkena diabetes, kolesterol tinggi, dan penyakit jantung di kemudian hari - meskipun tidak satupun dari mereka mampu membuktikan hubungan sebab-akibat kedua faktor itu.
Untuk studi baru, peneliti melihat korelasi antara pemberian ASI dan kemudian risiko tekanan darah tinggi. Penelitian ini melibatkan relawan 56 ribu perempuan AS yang memiliki setidaknya satu bayi.
Secara keseluruhan, studi menemukan, wanita yang telah menyusui selama setidaknya enam bulan kurang baru akan mengembangkan tekanan darah tinggi 14 tahun lebih lama ketimbang ibu yang bayinya meminum susu botol.
Hampir 8.900 wanita yang berpartisipasi dalam penelitian secara keseluruhan akhirnya didiagnosa dengan tekanan darah tinggi. Tetapi 22 persen lebih tinggi bagi perempuan yang tidak menyusui anak pertama mereka, dibandingkan wanita yang menyusui secara eksklusif selama enam bulan.
Namun, harus dilihat pula faktor-faktor seperti kebiasaan diet, olahraga, dan merokok.
Tidak ada temuan membuktikan bahwa pemberian ASI memberikan perlindungan jangka panjang terhadap tekanan darah tinggi, kata ketua peneliti, Dr Alison M Stuebe, dari University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill.
"Adalah masuk akal bahwa menyusui memiliki manfaat langsung," kata Stuebe. Penelitian atas hewan telah menemukan bahwa hormon oksitosin, yang terlibat dalam menyusui, memiliki efek langsung pada tekanan darah.
"Perempuan juga cenderung memiliki penurunan tekanan darah jangka pendek segera setelah menyusui," tambah Stuebe.
Republika – Rab, 2 Nov 2011 18.09 WIB
Spam Mendompleng Video Kematian Muammar Khadafi
Trend Micro, kembali menemukan pesan spam yang memanfaatkan meninggalnya Muammar Khadafi dengan iming-iming video dan gambar menarik agar pengguna internet men-download file berbahaya.
Setidaknya ada tiga kasus temuan. Trend Micro mengindikasikan bahwa pesan spam yang mengklaim video kematian Khadafi tersebut sempat dimuat dan menyamarkan diri sebagai newsletter yang berasal dari CNN di Spanyol.
Berita tersebut menginformasikan kepada pengguna untuk men-download rekaman video kematian Khadafi. File video bernama video-Khadafi.mpeg.exe tersebut ternyata membawa malware dengan identifikasi BKDR_IRCBOT.DAM yang akan menghubungkan pengguna ke server penyebar malware. (gambar 1)
Pesan spam kedua, ditemukan oleh Trend Micro dalam bentuk file attachment .RAR yang dikirim via email. File ini disebut berisi "gambar tubuh terakhir Muammar Khadafi", tapi tanpa sadar ketika kita meng-ekstraknya kita justru sedang mempersiapkan malware menyerang. (gambar 2)
Pesan ketiga, diidentifikasi dalam file Ghadafi.exe, diduga merupakan malicious yang telah dideteksi sebagai BKDR_EXDEPH.A. (gambar 3)
Kejadian ini pun mengingatkan pada semua negara, agar tetap meningkatkan kewaspadaan bahwa intelijen keamanan dalam teknologi informasi, cloud dan mobile, merupakan hal yang sangat penting.
Oleh Yahoo! Special Projects | Tech Guide – 6 jam yang lalu
Justin Bieber Hamili Fans?
Sebagai seorang bintang, cukup masuk akal kalau Justin Bieber punya jutaan fans wanita di seluruh dunia. Sayangnya, kabar yang datang kali ini cukup tak mengenakkan, karena Justin dituduh menghamili salah satu fansnya.
Tuduhan dari Mariah Yeater, gadis berusia 20 tahun yang berasal dari California ini pun cukup serius. Dirinya sampai mengajukan tuntutan pada Justin agar melaksanakan tanggung jawabnya. Mariah mengaku bahwa dirinya sempat berhubungan seks dengan Justin di belakang panggung setelah sebuah konser yang digelar di Los Angeles.
Seperti dilansir Star Magazine, gadis ini melahirkan 3 bulan lalu. Dan kali ini, tuntutan diajukannya demi mendapat nafkah finansial dari Justin, yang sekarang berpacaran dengan Selena Gomez.
Namun dalam sebuah pernyataan yang diungkapkan pada Us Weekly, juru bicara Justin segera menyangkal dan menyatakan bahwa pihaknya akan menuntut balik karena tuduhan tanpa alasan ini.
"Walau kami belum melihat tuntutan ini, menyedihkan rasanya ada seseorang yang membuat tuduhan yang dibuat-buat, jahat, dan benar-benar salah seperti ini. Kami akan menjalankan semua cara legal untuk membela dan melindungi Justin dari tuduhan-tuduhan ini," ungkap sang juru bicara. (spl/mae)
Oleh Editor KapanLagi.com, Hollywood | Kapanlagi – Rab, 2 Nov 2011 14.25 WIB
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